You Don't Belong to People Forever

The updated version of "it's better to have love and lost than to have never loved at all" or however that old timey quote actually goes. The first time I heard it in the movie Shelter, it was the one thing that spoke to me more than anything else in the story. Out of context, it seems more like a threat than a promise, but within the dialogue, Tori explains to Zach the reason he should go after the one he loves, that this is the only time you get, and you should be happy while you still have the chance.

When Brandon finally made me his girlfriend, I let him take a sharpie to the tattoo on my ribs and... edit it slightly. Works for me.

This New Year

I had two resolutions for 2013 and I kept neither. But when I wanted to be moved out this year, I was working full-time, and now I'm lucky if I get 10 hours a week. And when I looked back and saw my hair hadn't grown at all, it felt pointless to keep dreaming long, and it's so much healthier now. Perhaps this year I'll finally choose to stop dyeing it. At the very least, I know a move is in my future, and I want to resolve a few things for 2014.

• stay healthy. something I've managed to do without trying this year. luck, mostly, but true motivation came when I learned I was pregnant. and true motivation will remain, to stay healthy for my baby. because a person who is obsessed with weight lost and starvation can't take care of herself will have trouble properly taking care of another life.
• build my life. I don't know what this means just yet, but it's important. I'll become a homemaker for the first time. I've don't know what I'm doing, but I know I can make a house full of love. a safe place for my baby, and a comfortable place for my man. I get to learn how to manage bills, and clean up after myself and others, and cook for two. it's all new territory, but I'm excited for it.
• do my best & accept it. I know I won't be perfect. I haven't got a clue how to do any of the things I'm going to do this year. I'm going to mistakes, but I'm not going to beat myself up over it. I'm doing the best I can. and that's good enough.